right...so...

there was this halloween party last friday, pictures are up on facebook which i think you guys have already checked out, and well..as you can see, i was pretty under dressed haha not that i mind or anything because i really had nothing to wear. my supervisor told me before we left for the event

"let the lady in red have her moment before Chris arrives. these girls are dressed to kill tonight"

and dressed to kill they were haha

it's been a really long time since i went to this sort of function. the last would be that prefects' night from so long ago.

and then to my horror i was told after the event that there's a company dinner coming up next month in Muar and i was like thinking

"die lor...this time really GG d.."

I HAS NOTHING TO WEAR OTL

and then suddenly it hit me

that purple dress is still hanging in my cupboard back home .______________________.

i just need to find another pair of shoes then haha and really, really have to go on a diet OTL super fat now

so that's the plan for now, idk if it'll go accordingly lol i have a great record of plans not going as planned

hi ya!!

hello hello people!

so, officially, i've been in KL for about a week and a half now and i have to say, being at home in s'wan is way better haha

for one thing, you can easily go out and get food and whatnots really quickly and really easily. practically no jam at all if you are smart enough to avoid the after school jams on the main road. other than that and maybe a funeral procession that happens every now and then, there's practically no jam at all in our little town.

apparently in KL, it's either you stay home or you go out. i've been here for about two weekends and a public holiday now and wowzers..staying home sure is boring especially when you and your housemates don't talk much at all. going out..well..you have the added stress of going through the jam, looking for parking and also who to jio out. let's face it, walking around in a big mall alone is pretty...sad in a way haha but make sure you jio the correct people la..

watch movie? why not aye? if you're not going to window shop, might as well catch a movie or something right? yup! i've watched like 3 movies already since i got here and it's pretty fun in a way, but it's definitely not fun for your pocket haha

so people have been asking me "how's kl life?"

i would usually want to answer

"what life? i go to work at 7:30am i don't come home until 8pm"

but of course i usually end up saying

"ok lor..."

which..you know..caused people like my mom to worry less.

but seriously, it's not that bad. it's pretty ok actually cz well..i spend literally half the day in the office and the other half doing routine stuff like the laundry and eat so it's quite ok.

We'll still be..friends forever!!!

A few weeks ago, close to a month and a half ago I would suppose, we were struggling and complaining about the coming examinations. It was to be our final Finals. Tension was high as we gave it all for the papers we sat for and could only hope for the best.

After a disastrous first paper, morale and spirits were low to sustain the remainder of the season. We helped each other pull through of course. If there’s anything I’ve learnt throughout my degree life is that you really need help during exams. Sure, some might claim to be able to handle it on their own but really, those who do are usually pretty lonely people and I think their Uni life isn’t as colourful if compare to ours, the ones who yum cha-ed and studied together for finals.

I would usually prefer to stay at home and study but I’m very thankful to my bubbly friend who brought me to the outside world. She introduced me to the world of studying outside and with friends over a drink in a comfy, air conditioned environment. She brought me out to the library, where we camped for the first two years. Then when the bubble milk tea boomed happened in our little village, we shifted our camp there.

We started out as the two of us, and then slowly it became three or four. We would camp there for hours, the few of us. It was lots of fun. I never knew studying with other people would be so much fun and also so educational. It definitely beats listening to lectures, seriously.

“what your friend says is easier to remember compared to if a lecturer says it 100 times over”

So true.

And now, we must part. Results were out last week and we passed it! The pain is over! We can finally leave that place for good now! Well, maybe only to return six months later for our convocation. I’m just so relieved.

As usual the servers were lagging like crazy when out results were released. I didn’t get to see mine until later compared to my friends. After print screening mine I immediately went to check my friend’s. My seniors were looking at me one kind because I was so frantic while waiting for the page to load. Their brows raised when I told them “I will cry if my friend failed”. I would seriously, and I think she would’ve too. We were supposed to be in this together. She cannot abandon me in this very last leg.

I was more relieved to see that she had passed all her papers than when I was seeing mine. I texted her and she told me she couldn’t see hers and when I told her that I’ve seen hers, she called me right away. She was delirious when she knew her results. I could practically see her jumping and prancing about in joy on the other side of the phone.

The height of excitement had to die quickly because I was still at work. My seniors were pleasantly surprised that I could cool down so fast. Still, I continued to be high after work, walking giddily across the hallways like a drunkard. It felt really good. And now, we can finally say

WE’RE GRADUATING!!!!!!!!!

In my dreams, in my heart

我的歌声里 (Wǒ de gēshēng lǐ) [You Exist in My Song] by Wanting Qu

Lyrics and translations can be found here

now..if you'll excuse me..i'll be in a corner crying because this song reminds me so much of 친구 because she queued this song on when we went karaoke-ing the first time.

보고 싶다

Spur

In a spur of the moment decision we ninja-ed to the karaoke lounge and partied there for more than four hours, well into the night yesterday. Do I regret the decision when I still have a paper tomorrow? Not a bit. With our impending separation, it is both my honour and pleasure to finally do something resembling a university student and go crazy and carefree once in a while instead of sticking to my stooge image. I need to work on shedding that image, it won’t settle well with me once I start working. Stooges are such easy creatures to take advantage of, after all.

Of course, I don’t mind being a stooge around the people I love and am comfortable around.

Anyway back to the story.

So we ninja-ed there around 8pm+ and we were there till 12:30am or so. And to think I said

“ok..just a couple of hours”

Should’ve known it won’t be just a couple of hours. It was more like a couple of couple of hours, if you get what I’m trying to say haha

But I regret nothing. I haven’t been karaoke-ing with chingoo in a year and it was my first time out with the other two. We had a blast, though I stayed quiet most of the time due my miniscule repertoire in Chinese music. The only Chinese/Taiwanese music I know is those of Rainie Yang and they were really supportive about it! They queued up some of her songs and sang with me for those that I picked out myself. It felt really good because apparently a lot of my friends here don’t like Rainie a lot. The funny part was they queued her older songs up first and I was like

“guys..i don’t know her old songs very well..i listen to the albums after she chopped her hair off more”

Then they put 少年维特的烦恼 on and pointed to the screen

“nah! This one she cut her hair d! you know this right?!” then passed the mic over to me. Gawd I tell you they are too funny.

After that song ended, chingoo commented

“you ar..you know the words but there’s that blank once in a while where you don’t know them.”

You know me so well, chingoo haha so I explained to them I learnt the lyrics my ear and I don’t look at the lyrics pinyin unless I absolutely have to (like how I learnt Japanese and Korean lyrics, listen until it gets in my head). They nodded and commented how smart I am. Lol macam budak kecik kena praised hahaha!!

My friends can sing very well though sometimes we just go “ah..f this shit” and then start yelling like barbarians doing some tribunal ceremony. It was so much fun!

Another funny part was..well..haha chingoo thought it would be funny to put Hebe’s 寂寞寂寞就好 on because I said I only knew those 7 words in the whole song. So while they sang the whole song, they passed the mic to me when those words come up. It was so stupid that it was almost endearing.

So we were there for over four hours and we were still pretty fresh after that so we went back and got out notes and stuff and camped in McD! haha what an experience! While many had done it before, I must admit that was my first. Leave it to this stooge to finally let loose two nights before her last paper.

While we were sitting there discussing and explaining to each other, my only thought was

I’m going to miss you guys so much..probably not going to have this sort of experience anymore anytime soon..chingoo ah ㅠ. ㅠ

By the time we got home and I finally got to bed, it was already 4:30am..man the craziness in one night haha I was not expecting the night to be so happening when I jio-ed them out to dinner in the morning yesterday.

I regret nothing! YOLO!! XDDDD

DNW

Following a countdown that had begun more than a month ago, I am now at the last four days of it. What sort of countdown you may ask? Well, it’s the countdown to the end of my exams. Now you see, not only does this countdown counts to the end of our exams, it also counts to the day we have to say goodbye because we probably won’t see each other anymore after this.

Even though I’ve always looked forward to the end of exams, this is that rare one time that I don’t. I don’t because I don’t want to say goodbye to my friends. I don’t want to wake up one morning and remember that I don’t have classes anymore and I won’t be seeing those jokers anytime soon. I don’t want to be scrolling down my contacts list and suddenly realise I can’t jio them out for a meal like we always do. I don’t want to stop dead on my tracks while walking and realise they’re not staying 5 minutes away anymore. I just don’t want to.

Every single one of them, even the ones I’ve distant myself from, are the reasons why I made it through those harsh years leading up to this moment. Though all of us weren’t particularly close with everybody, we supported each other and together, we went through Foundation, Year 1, Year 2 and now we’re finishing Year 3. I’ve always thought that I could do anything I want by myself but they taught me that that’s not always the case. Uni is a place where you need to rely on each other to pull through. It’s not like high school anymore where even the most anti social kid can survive. In Uni, socialising is everything.

There is one friend I’m going to miss a lot. We literally have been through everything together. Literally all the ups and downs that uni had thrown at us. We made it through. Through some miraculous, divine intervention, the two of us had failed the same subjects, something even till this day I find to be bizarre. Even another friend of ours was considerably shocked when she found out.

“har? You two failed the same subjects? In the same sem?”

“Yup..”

The two of us, well, we get each other really well. We can finish each others’ sentences when one gets stuck while talking. One look and we can tell what the other is going to say. She takes care of me well and as for me, I give her rides to classes, and sometimes I take care of her too haha. She’s like my manager, she helps plan things for me (for us) and I just roll with it cz they are good plans. We tell each other almost everything that comes to mind and I like that a lot. She doesn’t pry too much into my stuff while I do the same. We respect each others’ space and that’s really cool IMHO.

I mentally thank the friend who introduced us back in Year 1 regularly. If it weren’t for her introducing us, I think my uni life would’ve been absolutely miserable, not having known what it’s like to find a dependable, out-going, bubbly friend in a place that is known to be filled with insincere and backstabbing people. Back then after the introduction, she disappeared for a week. Gone for a vacation with her family and when she returned the following week, to be honest I had forgotten all about her and it took a while before I had that Eureka moment about who she was.

Funny story actually haha now that I think about it.  I bumped into her while I was on my way to class. I saw that she was struggling to cycle up a slope so I decided to just pass her quickly. But she almost hit me when her front tyre suddenly turned to the right unsteadily. We avoided the accident, thank goodness. She shouted “sorry!!” while I turned around for a bit and said “oh it’s ok”. It was when we were at the parking lot when she bumped my bike from behind, I looked back and I saw her smiling apologetically at me saying “hey, I’m really sorry about just now” and I answered “oh it’s ok”. At that time, I still haven’t really processed who she was. It wasn’t till later after we left the parking lot that I remembered who she was. I felt really bad for not remembering her.

Then it rolled from there on.

Staring at the countdown, my mind subconsciously wandered to the past and replayed all the silly times we had. Some were just us sitting there laughing out heads off while some were the bunch of us chillaxing over tea and talking like there’s no tomorrow. Probably won’t start missing the rest until end of the year since we’re going to be interning together but I’ll miss her a lot because she’ll be interning back home and we all know once one of us touched down in our hometowns, it would mean contact would be cut off unconsciously.

I’ll miss her a lot. I’m not sure if she will but I will.

some lines of words

"There’s perception and reality. Perception, it’s the compliments of these two streams. There’s sensation, what you feel, and cognition, what you know. You can present the board just reality, facts about your educational background, or you can guide them towards how you want to be perceived. An ambiguous image is open to multiple interpretations on a perceptual level, so, you need to make sure that your essay is unambiguous. Teach them, you know? Teach them that you’re the one that deserves this. Don’t just say ‘I did this one thing’ or ‘I took this one class’, I mean, tell them how you feel about it, how you perceive it. Point them to it, and then fill in the blanks." - Catherine Stark, Bloomington (2010)

“when somebody who’s generally nice gets upset over the smallest thing then it’s probably because they’re fed up of getting walked all over all the time and having their feelings and belongings disregarded by other people so next time someone flips their shit because you took a piece of their food without asking or wore a piece of their clothing without permission you should probably apologise instead of saying they have a short temper or they’re too dramatic” - tumblr

“Those who are heartless once cared too much.”  — Unknown 

"People who reply fast.

You know why they do it? Because they really want to talk to that person. Don’t take forever to reply, that is just a huge turn off. Don’t make them think that you have someone better to talk to. It just sets them off, and it makes them upset. Next time someone replies right after, appreciate that they want to talk to you." - tumblr

“Sometimes you just work, you work, you work, and you have no life, no boyfriend, you have no more friends, no more nothing, you just make movies, and you’re tired, and you don’t know why. Then everybody says, ‘Oh you are so lucky, you are working!’ And you’re like, ‘Oh yeah, oh yeah, it’s so great!’” -  Mélanie Laurent

“i have no interest in small talk tell me about ur childhood and what ur parents are like and how many siblings u have and if u are afraid of death or if u believe in an afterlife and what ur favorite movie is and if u like romantic comedies or horror movies or action movies and what kind of music u like and why and tell me the bands or artists u loved in middle school but are too ashamed to admit to anyone else and” - tumblr

Relax. You will become an adult. You will figure out your career. You will find someone who loves you. You have a whole lifetime; time takes time. The only way to fail at life is to abstain.

— Johanna de Silentio

In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do.

— C.S. Lewis