What I Gotta Do?

I’m feeling really out casted recently, I don’t know why. The two people I’m usually with, let’s call them A and B, they’ll just talk among themselves and leave me by the side. I don’t really mind but they’re doing it too often and it’s getting obvious, at least for me, that whatever they’re chatting is meant to be understood by them only. Maybe it’s because they’re both from the same background, Chinese ed and all, and they have more in common.

They talk about stuff like those Taiwanese and Hong Kong stars and let’s face, it’s a topic I never ventured in. The only Taiwanese star/idol I know and like is Rainie Yang and they don’t like her very much. I’m always like this; the idol that I like is usually disliked by the people around me. Same goes for SNSD.

Perhaps I’m getting boring. I am a pretty boring and mundane person actually. The stuff I talk about is just that. I think they’re getting tired of me talking about anime with another friend, let’s call her C. It’s like high school all over again. I don’t like that feeling. It hurts because it brings back memories I don’t want to remember. But talking about anime with that friend feels really good. I don’t get to do that very often because I usually can’t find anybody to talk anime with.

Usually, during the rides in my car I’m pretty quiet. I try to start a conversation but obviously they don’t feel like talking. Perhaps not everybody is a morning person like me. If there were conversations going on, I’m usually left out. I drive, they talk. Maybe they just don’t want to distract the driver but who knows right? I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt on that case.

It’s not that I don’t want to talk, it’s that..even if I do talk nobody responds. It’s like I’m speaking some sort of a foreign language or something. Come on, English isn’t foreign. It’s not my fault they don’t understand the language as well as us. I have another friend, let’s call her L. L and I are bananas so we get along pretty well.  Our conversation topics are a bit more diverse I suppose. We talk about books, songs and movies etc. I like it, it’s like what I usually talk with you guys. Talking crap aside, L and I get along pretty well, considering even though we were in the same Foundation class, we only got to know each other during First Year.

Recently, I think I’m getting on B’s nerves. I’m getting annoying again. And I’m scared. She’s not the kind to voice out her opinions. A and I think she’s really mysterious because she hasn’t said much about her family and stuff while A and I practically know each others’ family members by now after sharing so many stories. No doubt about it that B finds me annoying. I can live with that. I really can. I accept who I am and I accept what others think of me. Either that or I’m thinking too much haha.

oh! btw there's this song that i'm not sure if you guys have heard before, it's What I Gotta Do by Macy Gray from Shrek 3 OST and it's really, really good!!