DNW

Following a countdown that had begun more than a month ago, I am now at the last four days of it. What sort of countdown you may ask? Well, it’s the countdown to the end of my exams. Now you see, not only does this countdown counts to the end of our exams, it also counts to the day we have to say goodbye because we probably won’t see each other anymore after this.

Even though I’ve always looked forward to the end of exams, this is that rare one time that I don’t. I don’t because I don’t want to say goodbye to my friends. I don’t want to wake up one morning and remember that I don’t have classes anymore and I won’t be seeing those jokers anytime soon. I don’t want to be scrolling down my contacts list and suddenly realise I can’t jio them out for a meal like we always do. I don’t want to stop dead on my tracks while walking and realise they’re not staying 5 minutes away anymore. I just don’t want to.

Every single one of them, even the ones I’ve distant myself from, are the reasons why I made it through those harsh years leading up to this moment. Though all of us weren’t particularly close with everybody, we supported each other and together, we went through Foundation, Year 1, Year 2 and now we’re finishing Year 3. I’ve always thought that I could do anything I want by myself but they taught me that that’s not always the case. Uni is a place where you need to rely on each other to pull through. It’s not like high school anymore where even the most anti social kid can survive. In Uni, socialising is everything.

There is one friend I’m going to miss a lot. We literally have been through everything together. Literally all the ups and downs that uni had thrown at us. We made it through. Through some miraculous, divine intervention, the two of us had failed the same subjects, something even till this day I find to be bizarre. Even another friend of ours was considerably shocked when she found out.

“har? You two failed the same subjects? In the same sem?”

“Yup..”

The two of us, well, we get each other really well. We can finish each others’ sentences when one gets stuck while talking. One look and we can tell what the other is going to say. She takes care of me well and as for me, I give her rides to classes, and sometimes I take care of her too haha. She’s like my manager, she helps plan things for me (for us) and I just roll with it cz they are good plans. We tell each other almost everything that comes to mind and I like that a lot. She doesn’t pry too much into my stuff while I do the same. We respect each others’ space and that’s really cool IMHO.

I mentally thank the friend who introduced us back in Year 1 regularly. If it weren’t for her introducing us, I think my uni life would’ve been absolutely miserable, not having known what it’s like to find a dependable, out-going, bubbly friend in a place that is known to be filled with insincere and backstabbing people. Back then after the introduction, she disappeared for a week. Gone for a vacation with her family and when she returned the following week, to be honest I had forgotten all about her and it took a while before I had that Eureka moment about who she was.

Funny story actually haha now that I think about it.  I bumped into her while I was on my way to class. I saw that she was struggling to cycle up a slope so I decided to just pass her quickly. But she almost hit me when her front tyre suddenly turned to the right unsteadily. We avoided the accident, thank goodness. She shouted “sorry!!” while I turned around for a bit and said “oh it’s ok”. It was when we were at the parking lot when she bumped my bike from behind, I looked back and I saw her smiling apologetically at me saying “hey, I’m really sorry about just now” and I answered “oh it’s ok”. At that time, I still haven’t really processed who she was. It wasn’t till later after we left the parking lot that I remembered who she was. I felt really bad for not remembering her.

Then it rolled from there on.

Staring at the countdown, my mind subconsciously wandered to the past and replayed all the silly times we had. Some were just us sitting there laughing out heads off while some were the bunch of us chillaxing over tea and talking like there’s no tomorrow. Probably won’t start missing the rest until end of the year since we’re going to be interning together but I’ll miss her a lot because she’ll be interning back home and we all know once one of us touched down in our hometowns, it would mean contact would be cut off unconsciously.

I’ll miss her a lot. I’m not sure if she will but I will.