I’ve been a kpop fan for about 8 years now and one can say that nothing makes me more at home than when I’m watching something kpop related, especially if it has anything to do with my favourite groups. Over the years, I’ve been fairly consistent with the groups I like. Anybody who knows me well can automatically tell that my favourite group ever is Girls’ Generation and my favourite members are Taeyeon and Jessica. My late high school and university life was spent fangirling about Girls’ Generation and other groups that I’ve come to like - f(x), SHINee, TVXQ and a little bit of EXO towards the end of my uni life.
You can say that that was how I would spend my days. I’d listen to their songs, watch their music videos, variety shows and even their dramas if they acted in any. Fanfics was one of the things that I’ve come to love because some of them are just so good and it’s amazing how these independent authors are just putting out these mindblowing stories for free. However, fangirling life tonned down by a lot after I started work. It was always work, work, work and if I had free time, I’d prefer to just sit quietly in my room and browse tumblr because that would be less energy taxing compared to having to sit through an entire episode of something. I just simply didn’t have the drive anymore.
Things got even worse after 930 (the SONE fandom equivalent of 911, the day peace and harmony shattered in our fandom and all hell broke loose). Kpop was just something I didn’t consciously kept up with anymore, instead I found myself rewatching old videos because they hurt less. Little by little, I lost touch with the fandom in which I called my home since I was in form 5. It was sad but unavoidable. I call myself a part-time/half retired fan now because I simply don’t have the heart and energy to keep up with them 100% anymore. This applied to all the groups I was in to that time. I slowly let them slip and only kept up with some of the new music they released.
In between I started watching western dramas that everybody seemed to be getting into. I watched all sorts of series like Orange is the New Black, Faking It, Supergirl, Agent Carter, Nikita, Friends, Ally McBeal, Riverdale etc etc. Some I finished, some I didn’t. I also went back to my roots and watched anime, my ultimate home.
Now, approximately 2 years later, I’m back! It started earlier this year when a few of my friends wanted me to check out this girl group called Mamamoo because they were just crazy talented and hyper af. I checked them out and man I fell for them. It took a while but I fell for them completely. Their songs were catchy, the members are hella amazing and their group chemistry is just unmatched. I found myself sitting in front of the tv each night during dinners watching their videos, catching up on their variety shows appearance in the last three years and also catching up on their music. It was such a familiar feeling that I never thought I’d experience again.
A few weeks ago it happened again. I befriended this girl on tumblr and she was in to Red Velvet and I should give them a go. Didn’t really put much thought into it until one day I saw somebody link a gif of Red Velvet’s leader getting the shock of her life when one of her members crept up behind her and patted her butt. I linked it to my friend and she lost it. According to her, it was funny because the leader does that to her members all the time. The leader even has a favourite butt.
That phrase hit very close to home because my darling favourite, Taeyeon, too has a habit of patting her members’ bottom and she also has a favourite butt among her members. The very first thing I googled was to see some of the compilation clips of Red Velvet’s leader and butt patting. It all spiraled down from there. These past couple of weeks was basically also trying to catch up on 3 years worth of Red Velvet and I’m loving them so much right now. They remind me so much of Girls’ Generation it was almost like they were the mini version of the girl group that helped me through so many phases of my life.
Every day I look forward to watching or rewatching something of theirs. The thought of being able to go home and sit in front of the tv and watch them is so comforting and exciting! It’s almost like coming home again after a long, hard time. My friend says I found my safe space and yeah it really does feel like it. “blinded by love” she calls it when I said one of the members do resemble a bear.
So yea, this is just an update on what I’m up to lately. I’m on twitter more than I am here because to actually sit down and type up a substantial post is quite taxing especially when words just don’t seem to want to flow freely as you type.
Till the next post!
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