Somebody...

After a Twitter conversation last night, I started to think. And I know what you guys are thinking

“uh oh..tzy is thinking again..this can’t be good” lol

But no worries, this isn’t some horrible plot to take over the world or something. The conversation was about the future, about the person in our future. Understand hor? No need elaborate what I’m trying to say hor? Haha

I don’t really think about this usually..but since we’re on the topic might as well list some of the minimal requirements ey? XDD

I’d like somebody who will not judge me.

Somebody who gets what I’m trying to say with one look in the eye or even just a glance.

Somebody who shares some of my interests like anime and them old Disney stuff.

Somebody who has that smile that can lift my mood in an instant.

Somebody who isn’t afraid to say sorry but doesn’t over do it.

Somebody who isn’t afraid to tell me off when I’m being unreasonable and/or annoying, I rather be told off 

that to be put up with.

Somebody who is good to my parents.

Somebody who is neater than I am because let’s face it, my room here is as messy as a bachelor pad.

Somebody who isn’t a small gas.

Somebody who loves pets because I am so getting a dog next time.

Honestly the list can go on and on but I’ll end it here with the last:

I wanna be with someone who, ten years from now, makes my heart jump when I hear the key in the door.

so this is what happens when tzy thinks lol

OST

it's been a while since i've posted something like this haha

it's song recommendation time! lol

1. Something Flutters - Ra.D 

   lyrics here

2. In The Same Storm - Big Baby Driver

3. Take My Hands Tonight - Big Baby Driver

4. CHANCE! - Peppertones

    lyrics here

all of these songs are from the same drama series: Dating Agency Cyrano =] it has 6 episodes so far and i'm loving it!

i started typing last night but it suddenly became a five page document on Word so here you go haha

There was this girl in my class way back in the days, I remember her like I just saw her yesterday. She was one of the..quiet ones, as the rest would like to call her. She was not particularly pretty, just an average looking teen trying to fit into the crowd.

How did I know she was trying to fit in? For one thing, the way she spoke around people.  She was being terribly cautious that it was misunderstood that she was being reserved or even shy. She was in this group in class, the brainiacs , I would classify them as. They seem to mind nothing but their books even though we had no tests or assignments due. They fought the teachers regularly for extra marks if they were unsatisfactory with the ones they were given during a test or a quiz. But she never did any of those things.

No, she was quiet, as she was depicted. She was with the group but I am not sure if she ever felt like she belonged in that group. She was unlike the rest, I could tell because while the rest were arguing for extra marks she merely sat in her seat, quietly reviewing her mistakes and then would occasionally look up at her friends and sometimes she would shake her head at them and then continue to review her mistakes. I can tell she was satisfied with the scores she got most of the time. It was written all over her face. It showed contentment mostly, and if she broke into a grin it would simply mean that she did better than expected.

Compared to her group of friends, she was rather average, though she could very well beat half of them if she had put in the effort. She was a smart kid or else she wouldn’t even have been in our class. I asked her before, once I don’t remember when, how she studied and she said she didn’t and merely waved it off as she was just lucky to be sitting here. I peeked at her report card once in sophomore year, you don’t get grades like those based on luck. She was smart, but she didn’t want to draw any attention to herself.

I had my own group of friends but our groups crossed paths pretty often while hanging out. Our town isn’t very big and there were only that many hang out spots back in the day. Surprisingly those brainiacs know how to hang out and let loose once in a while. They can laugh and joke, who knew? We didn’t talk to them much, they seemed rather inapproachable since, you know, eyes glued to the book and all. But she was different. In class she would stare up at the board in front and day dream, with or without the teacher in front. She got called pretty often by our Math teacher since she almost always day dreamed in his class and he also almost always caught her day dreaming. She got called into the staff office once because she screwed up her homework pretty badly.

It was Algebra, I remember asking during lunch when she finally returned to class with her book in hand. Her face was unreadable. She quietly slipped into class while everybody was happy about the break and took her seat. Being seated a few seats a way, I crossed the room and took the seat in front of her and turned to face her. She was rather surprised but was poker facing as usual. She had a very good poker face, practically unreadable if she wanted it to be that way. I asked what did he want with her and she showed me her book. Red marks were abundant, needless to say. I scanned her book quickly and returned it to her. She slid it into her bag and sighed.

She said it wasn’t that she didn’t get what went on during that class, it was that her concept was wrong from the beginning. We also studied Algebra the year before and she had misunderstood completely what the teacher was trying to say and so the wrong concept had been embedded into her brain and so she got the whole exercise wrong and was called to the office for some one-on-one tutoring session. She said itso animatedly and with so much horror in her face I burst laughing. I apologised afterwards but she said it was ok. It’s been a while since she made anybody laughed she said. I felt sorry for her. It was pretty obvious that she was the quiet one in the group, one of the members even called her Miss Invisible, which irked me to no end.

How could you call your friend a name like Miss Invisible? You’d make her feel bad, as if she didn’t already feel bad enough that you guys were having most of the fun and did most of the talking while she just sat and listen like a dumb block of wood. I saw her twitch once when her friends hollered at her from a distance. It made my blood boil a bit because it was degrading to call a person that. I wanted to punch him for her because clearly she did not like that name one bit but was too reserved to say or do anything about it.

During one of the holidays I bumped into her after having dinner. We both ate in the same shop but we never saw each other in the bustling little shop. We were both with our family but I decided to ask if it were ok if the two of us hang out for a while and our parents agreed. She seemed happy about the idea of us hanging out, mainly because none of her friends had scheduled any meet-ups at all and it was three weeks into our three month long summer break. I asked her what had she been up to since break started and she told me a repetitive cycle of eat, computer, book, jogging and sleep.

“Wow you guys are boring..”

“Well, not my fault they’re boring…” she said and shrugged and left me rather surprised. I never knew she could speak in such a tone of voice. A tone that suggested that she was sick and tired of her so called friends but had decided to just bear with them since we only had a year left till we graduated.

That night was the turning point for her. We started hanging out more during that summer break, turned out that her circle of friends didn’t meet-up at all. She said it was ok since it was like that every summer. They’d go off to some place on their own and she was an oversight. I felt sorry for her but she told me to stop because she didn’t want or needed my sympathy. I can still remember her eyes. They were filled with numbness because she was so used to it she didn’t feel a thing. All she wanted to do was to graduate and leave their sorry butts.

I also invited to her to come hang out with us. At first my group were a little bit hesitant since they didn’t know her that well. Heck, I didn’t know her that well but we agreed anyway. She hung out with us a couple of times and got the hang of it pretty quick. The rest also started to talk more with her and for once, I saw that her smiles actually reached her eyes. That summer was the first time I’ve seen her throw her head back guffawing. It was refreshing, in a way. The rest of the group agreed that she’s pretty fun to hang around with. She cracked us up with her jokes, laughed till she cried and was so lively, completely opposite from the girl we always saw in class.

That summer, for her, was the best. That was what she told us. It was the first time since she stopped going to summer camp that summer was fun! She said her parents commented on her new found cheerfulness and were very grateful to the eight of us for helping her. Her parents even treated us to pizza a week before the school reopened. They were nice folks. They owned the spectacle shop half of us went to get our glasses at. Who knew? They said if they’ll give us a nice discount for our subsequent pairs. That was really nice of them. They said it was the least they could do for helping their daughter find her smile and laughter again. Apparently she hasn’t been smiling or laughing much the past couple of years. I noticed, but I think the other seven didn’t. Couldn’t really blame them though, she wasn’t exactly the most noticeable person in class.

Before the summer was over, we made a pack to continue being a group. We were a pretty big group, there were nine of us if we include her. She was hesitant at first, giving reasons like she wasn’t sure how we were like in school. Summer was a time to let loose and forget about school but in class, it was different. People changed, even the most laid back will become intensely serious. We understood and I assured her that we were different. We were a group that studied hard and played hard. It took a while to convince her but she agreed in the end, a few days before we returned for our senior year.

First day of senior year, the sad part was, her old group didn’t even notice that she wasn’t sitting near them anymore. She was with us toward the right side of the class. We made a bet on when they’d notice and all of us lost. By the time they noticed, it was already almost half the semester. All our bets were roughly within the first week of classes. She was a bit hurt at first but then, it happened, confrontation. It was the softest confrontations I have ever seen, volume wise.

It happened during lunch. She kept her voice in control, soft and calm as usual. One of them came up to us and asked why wasn’t she with them anymore and pretty soon, the rest came to back that person up. Slowly she stood up and it began. She calmly told them that she was done with them constantly taking her for granted and making her feel left out almost all the time. She was tired of them not caring what she had to say. When we felt she needed some backing up, we stood and backed her up. It was more intimidating that it seems, having eight people backing somebody up and all eight were glaring. She finished it off rather humorously, if memory served.

“So, why don’t you guys make like a tree and leaf.”

It was a classic pun. The group nodded and left. One of them turned around and apologised and hoped that they’ll still be friends or something. She nodded in acknowledgement before she took her seat and resumed eating. We congratulated her on a job well done and she gave us a gracious smile, with some hints of tears in her eyes but she sucked it up. That there, was one brave and strong person.

The year passed in a blink, ok maybe a few blinks. Ok, maybe in a whole lot of blinks. In no time at all we were all cramming for our college entrance exams. We gathered at my place since I had a relatively big dining hall with one of them long rectangular dining tables for twelve seaters. For about two or three months we were there, with our books scattered all across the table. My dad even loaned us one of his portable whiteboards, the ones you can find in school, for us to have an easier time discussing topics.

One of us was actually the first in class, having stayed on top for so many semesters we all lost count. She was really proud that none of the brainiacs managed to beat her scores after finding out what they did to our new friend. So she used the board most of the time, taught us how to solve questions, drew mind maps for us to help us remember things easier. Studying in a group was really fun, our new friend admitted. Before this she had always studied alone. None of the brainiacs had initiated a group study and she told us all of them studied separately as well, each too stingy to share any info that they had. Jerks, we all agreed.

During our study sessions she was really helpful, too. She had her own tricks of remembering facts and wasn’t afraid to share it with us. We had an unwritten agreement that we were all working towards the same goal which was getting good grades to enter the college of our choice. So why not help each other to achieve that same goal?  The results were more than satisfactory.

After every paper we wore bright smiles and were happily discussing that we were spot on in guessing which topics would be tested and laughed out loud when we agreed that thank goodness one of us made a joke about those few important facts and we could recall the jokes easily, helping us write better in our paper. The brainiacs constantly looks constipated with their serious looks on their faces. Brows furrowed and lips pursed. It was not a pretty sight and she was glad to not be one of them, fretting and worrying about what had happened and what was coming up next.

We aced our exams. All of us got into the colleges and/or universities of our choice. That would also mean separation. On the last day before everybody had to leave we had a party. A farewell party, no alcohol involved of course. We agreed that it would not be smart to hung over the next day and miss our respective flights or trains. You’d think that in a group as big as ours, at least two would be going to the same place. No, all of us were headed to different parts of the world. Some stayed back in the country, but went to different states while others flew out to the continents. We purposely booked our tickets on the same day so that we would not have to go through so many potentially tearful goodbyes. We sent those who went by trains first then the rest of us parted in the airport.

Goodbyes were never easy; she cried the most out of us. We understood. She probably went through her whole schooling life wanting to belong and she did with us but the time we spent together was short. She gave us each a bone crushing hug and each kisses on the cheek and of course, the mandatory group hug. And slowly, one by one we boarded our flights and left.

We kept in contact over our years in uni and tried to meet up whenever we had overlapping breaks. Our mission to keep in touch throughout uni life was a huge success. We met up once every few months and during the four Christmas we had as Uni students, we went on trips to anywhere in the world, usually to somewhere warmer than our freezing winter.

The last time I saw her would be a few weeks ago I think? She moved back to our hometown and I bumped into her in the store. She was with her husband. Actually I saw her husband first, wondering the aisles frantically looking for his wife. I helped him search and we found her walking aimlessly with a box of raisins in her hand. It was her favourite snack. When she saw me her face lit up and she greeted me cheerfully.

“Hey!! I haven’t seen you in the longest time!” and she gave me a hug while her husband went to return the box of raisin to its respected shelf somewhere in the store.

“Yea, how you’ve been?”

“I’m great! Are you excited for your wedding? I bet you are! Weddings are exciting and fun but also nervous at the same time.” She allowed herself a little chuckle before she continued “what are you doing out here? 

Shouldn’t you be preparing for it? Isn’t it later in a few hours?”

“Yea, don’t worry about it. I have time.”

“Really? That’s great.”

She was about to continue when her husband came and said they had better go.

“Oh right. I’ll see you at the wedding later ok?” she beamed at me and I smiled back at her as I saw her 

retreating figure.

I choked back a sob as I hurriedly made my way back to my car where my son was waiting for me.

“Mom, I thought you wanted to buy something?”

“Oh, I don’t think I need it now.”

“You sure? Do you want me to go back in and get them for you?”

“No, it’s fine dear. Let’s go home.”

“Ok…wait..mom are you crying?”

“I saw an old friend in there. I guess I got a bit sentimental.”

“Aw” he gave me a hug and showed me to the passenger seat. He kissed my temple before closing the door and jogged to the driver’s seat and drove us home.

There was no wedding later. My wedding was well over 20 years ago. She met an accident years ago and she cannot remember anything for more than a few hours at best. But the only thing she remembers as clear as day was that summer and our senior year in high school.

END.

Author's note: so what you guys think?

Daemon

so me friend here (coughRachelcough XD) must've watched The Golden Compass or something because she suddenly asked me to take a quiz to find out what is my Daemon (apparently pronounced demon and is the animal form of a person's soul)

and so i did. and these are my results

Results

and you can take the test Here

honestly speaking, the results were very accurate in my case. how about yours? it described my situation perfectly as how people perceives who i am and how i can be an introvert at times and an extrovert at other times. haha

so what did you get? =]

Untitled

I am the daughter of a reputable family in this community. Every single thing that I do is under the scrutiny of the public. Sadly to say, even my childhood was somehow under the surveillance of the people around me.

Naturally, my freedom is restricted. The list of things I was not allowed to do or to participate in seemed like it would never end. Every time I could only look at my peers, my eyes burnt with envy and my heart ached to be one of them, running free.

I went to school as any other child did. In class there was no room for fooling around and flunking classes was not allowed to be on my to-do/to-try list. A single B+ in my list of grades was enough to send me into hours worth of nagging courtesy of me mom. An F would certainly saw that I never step out of the house again.

I often wondered, how would things be like if I weren’t born into this family. How would I look like? What would I be doing now? I would be sounding like an ungrateful brat, completely disregarding the fact that thanks to this family’s rich background I am able to live very comfortably and had never tasted an ounce of bitterness in my young life.

As sheltered as I seem to be, I had a few friends close enough to call them my best friends. I don’t know about them, but I did feel very comfortable around them. I could laugh and joke all I wanted and they would laugh along with me. With them I felt like I could finally be myself. That is of course, until one faithful day when all three of them decided that they had enough of my constant endless babbles and confronted me in a manner I didn’t think they would. I never thought I would experience being backstabbed at an age as young as 15.

Needless to say I was shattered after that. I reverted back to my old quiet form, which all of us had not seen since my elementary school years. I was separated from the three the following year as they transferred to another high school together, without telling me of course. I didn’t take it to heart, they seemed like they were done with me so why should I even be bothered about them?

The first day of college, I remembered everybody gawking at me the moment I stepped into the school. Whispers of who I was and who my parents were filled the corridor. It was nothing new; every first day was like that. Trying to avoid as much attention as possible, I made my way to the office with my gaze fixed firmly on the ground. Naturally, I bumped into somebody who was running in the corridor.

I wondered if her head was made of metal or some sort because it hurt a whole damn lot. Rubbing her head, she helped gathered some of our things which fell during collision and uttered a quick apology before dashing off again. We didn’t even notice that our books got switched. It didn’t really matter to me, since it was the first day of class and our books were practically brand new.

The first bell rang and soon the corridors were empty. I found myself a seat at the back corner of the class by the window. We worked on a first come first served basis so that seat will be mine throughout the semester. You must be thinking what’s a straight A student doing sitting at the back of the class, and by the window of all places where it is easiest to drift off into a day dream?  I had my reasons.

Before our lecturer could walk in, a girl burst through the door and quickly scanned the vicinity for signs of authority. Huffing in relieve, she smirked and made her way into the class and looked for a seat. From the way she greeted our classmates, I would say that she knew almost half the class. Must be from the same high school or something. I thought. It was the only possible explanation.

As cliché as it would sound, she plopped down right beside me. After settling her things and wiggled into a comfortable position, she turned to me with a book in hand.

‘Hey, I think this is yours and you have mine,’ she flashed one of the warmest smiles I have seen in a very long time.

‘Oh? I didn’t even notice they were switched!’ I sounded absolutely fake; I couldn’t lie to save my life. I quickly dug her book out from my bag and un-switched our books.

‘Sorry for the bump earlier. I was in a rush. I’m Jessica by the way, Jessica Jung.’

‘Taeyeon…er..Kim Taeyeon’ I hesitated for a moment in introducing myself and awkwardly stuck my hand out for a shake.

She smiled mischievously and gently shook my hand before commenting

‘A pretty name like yours should be said with confidence.’

For the first time ever I felt my cheeks coloured as I quickly withdrew my arms and turned to face front in great haste. I could hear her snickering beside me.

***

Had I knew that my life would slowly turned cliché from that encounter during my first day of college, well, at least I would have made some effort to turn it into least a cliché that is a bit more interesting.

It would turn out that Jessica was in all of my classes for that semester. I didn’t know what to think of it, was it a good thing or a bad thing I would never know. Perhaps it was a good thing. Despite hearing rumours floating about in campus, Jessica was not what they made her seem to be. Rumours of her being a cold and heartless ice princess were not true at all, at least I had yet to see her act as claimed.

Jessica was, how should I put it? Jessica was nice. Yes, that would be a sufficient word. Nice. Jessica was nice. She was nice enough to unswitch out books on the day we met and was also nice enough to be sitting next to me in all of our classes. She was also nice enough to find me through the crowd of people during lunch in the cafeteria and ate lunch with me.

Even though she was being nice I kept my distance. I didn’t want to be betrayed like so I didn’t talk to her much even though she was being nice and everything. I just didn’t think I can handle another episode of drama like the previous one. It wasn’t very pretty; I’d like to avoid that if possible. Still, I found her company to be very enjoyable. She’s nice.

The Jessica I met was a rather cheery person, completely different from the one in the rumours. It was about two weeks into college when I heard a new rumour saying that the reason why she was being nice and warm this time around was because all her friends left her back in school and so she was trying to get new friends.

I actually didn’t bother about those rumours but clearly she was. She sat down in her seat one Tuesday morning and turned to me with a very serious expression and asked in an equally serious tone

‘Taeyeon, what have you heard about me?’ her eyes bored into me as I reluctantly met her gaze

‘That you were an ice princess who’s suddenly became warm because you wanted friends…’

‘Oh…you must’ve heard the nice version then..’ she drifted off for a while before reverting back to her 

cheery self

‘so..there’s this new dessert café that just opened last week and I’ve been dying to check it out. Come with me?’

A pout..cute..

I didn’t understand what was going on with that girl one bit. For a moment she could be serious and the next, she could be melting souls with that pout of hers. As to why she was pouting at me I would never know, at least not yet.

‘S-s-sure…after classes later?’

She giggled

‘You need to work on your stuttering and yes I was thinking after class later too!’ she clapped her hands together and that glint appeared in her eyes.

I smiled at her and turned to face front but she grabbed my arm and tugged on them, making me lurch forward, our faces a few inches apart.

‘Why are you so quiet?’

‘I-I-I-I…’ and then our lecturer walked into the room.

‘Saved by the bell…’ Jessica muttered as she let me go and prepared for class.

Back in my seat I kept my face down trying to calm myself down. My face flushed, I just knew it. It felt really warm and I knew if Jessica were to see it, I would get teased. After a few moments I recollected myself and rejoined the class. Perhaps I hadn’t completely calmed down yet because I could hear my next seat neighbour snickering under her breath.

That afternoon spent at the dessert café was by far then, the most enjoyable hang out I have had with my friends. We talked; or rather Jessica talked of various things. We sat there for a good two hours and within that time; Jessica had managed to cover topics ranging from her elementary school days to a portion of her middle school days. She must’ve really wanted to tell me about those rumours.

‘Taeyeon, about those rumours…’

‘I don’t really bother about them.’ I said quickly and defensively, causing her to burst laughing.

‘Thank you, Taeyeon. I appreciate that very much.’

‘But you are still bothered by them?’ I asked cautiously as she kept her gaze on her strawberry which she 

had been playing with with her fork for quite a while. She finally looked up and replied

‘Well, I can’t say that I am not bothered by them. Are you curious? I bet you are, you just don’t know how to ask me about them, do you?’

‘A little, but I’ll live even without knowing the truth.’

‘Touché..but I’ll tell you anyway. I want to, I mean, we’re friends right? I think it’s the least I can do to let 

you know that I am not hanging out with you just because I am desperate for friends.’

I nodded in agreement but still I did not understand her. In our new found friendship; or whatever you would call it, Jessica was the one who pushed it while I was just standing still, not minding whatever progress that was made.

‘Yes I was all that that they say. I was that ice bitch..’

‘Princess…’ I quickly interrupted her

‘Taeyeon, you heard the nice version remember?’ I could only nod as she continued ‘about two years ago, when we were 14? I had a few good friends, best friends even’

Whoa…déjà vu..well..sort of…

‘Anyway so we were really close, we told each other everything. There were no secrets between us whatsoever. And then one day it happened. We had a, disagreement call it, and they spilled almost all of my secrets and I have never been so humiliated in my life before.’

‘I can relate…’ I mumbled incoherently.

‘Pardon?’

‘Nothing..carry on..’ I motioned her to continue.

And then she went on about her middle school life after that. How she became quiet and distant and started to shun people, making others think that she’s an icy bitch. I could relate, somehow I could. Out stories were almost similar. It scared me a little as to how similar we were.

Of course gradually I started to open up to her. I still haven’t told her why I was so quiet and reserved. If Jessica was as genuine as she was acting nice I would. But the problem was I didn’t know if she was sincere in her actions or was she just being nice to me because I’m currently her only close friend.

But still, for a person who was supposedly the school’s ice princess Jessica was not like that around me. She liked to joke, to gossip and loved to talk about music and whatever it is on TV. She was like a regular kid getting all excited talking about their favourite Saturday morning cartoons. I found that part about her to be rather…cute.

It didn’t take long before my parents questioned me, particularly my mother. Being a wife to a successful businessman, naturally she didn’t have to work. All she does was sit around at home, go shopping and other ridiculously meaningless things. Her favourite pastime would be to boss me around, which I find to be even more ridiculous considering how I was living in the dorms and not at home. I practically begged my father to let me stay there with the excuse of having to drive an hour up and down every day to campus was not practical and I could take care of myself.

She started asking things like why I seemed rather distracted as of late. And by that she meant that I was not paying attention during her calls more than usual and why my grades slipped a bit and by a bit a meant dropping from an A to an A- during the recent test. I shrugged it off. I wasn’t really in the mood to be explaining myself to somebody who has never really been a mother to me. It didn’t even shock me when my father revealed her to be a stepmother as my biological mother has passed away during child birth.

‘No way she’s your stepmom??!!’

I could picture Jessica’s eyes going saucers. I called her after that stepmother of mine called and gave her usual nagging plus a bonus of accusing me of being a lazy brat. I called Jessica without an apparent reason after the stepmother hung up.

‘Apparently so..my dad gave me a picture of him and my mom’s wedding…’

‘Oh…how does she look like?’

‘She…she’s very pretty…’

‘For you to be her daughter she must be.’

‘Thanks….’

‘You’re not crying, are you?’

‘No..why?’

‘Liar…you just wiped your tears didn’t you?’

‘Jessica Jung I find it astonishing as to how you can read me so well and we’ve only known each other for less than a year.’

‘Because I am awesome like that ok…now, hold your eye dams. I am coming over whether you like it or not.’

‘Thanks…’

‘See you in a bit’

***

Jessica was nice, hang on a sec, Jessica is nice. Perhaps I could open up to her and just perhaps, I won’t get 

hurt and/or humiliated, whichever comes first. She seemed to be a person who really wants this. She seemed to really want us to be good friends, perhaps like the ones she had before. But still, I cannot tell if that is the case. There were times that she would say things that were lingering in my mind as though she had read it. There were times when we would just sprout the same sentence with the exact same words when we chatted. It scared me a little but I could not deny that I was happy about it.

She told me tonnes of stories from her old high school. How her classmates were a rowdy bunch and how they had a grand scale school festival every year. I found it to be a bit hard to believe because it was too anime-ish and it seemed to only exist in the movies. But that was her story so I won’t comment much about it, accusing her of lying and stuff like that. At times I found her to be rather pompous, but at other times she seemed to be the nicest person on earth. She confused me and confuses me still.

The two of us, we became rather inseparable after the first year was over. We started to become closer and eventually I started opening up more to her, telling her about my family and stuff like that. I still haven’t told her why I was quiet though and she never asked. I took it as though she accepted the fact that I was and decided not to probe further, always liked that about her.

I wanted to ask her many times, as to why she stuck with me despite the boring person that I am. It confuses me how a person that could be as lively as her would choose to be friends with boring old me. Let’s face it; I’m not exactly the most interesting person in class. My life was doomed to be boring the moment my father married that woman and from the moment she stepped into our threshold. She dictated my life so much that I think Hitler would be very proud of her.

Living in the dorms was a good thing, I concluded after being ‘away from home’ for about seven months. It gave me that bit of freedom where nobody dictated my every move and I could actually for once in my life arrange my own personal schedule and accomplished the things on my to-do list. It was nice and once in a while Jessica would come over and we would have a sleepover. Haven’t had that in years. It was nice. Being around Jessica was nice.

During the summer of our second year, we took a road trip. The day our exams ended we just packed our bags and hit the road. Jessica drove, she had a Toyota. It was about 5 years old so she wasn’t very worried about it giving problems during the trip since it was well maintained. So the two of us hopped it and went on our way.

We didn’t exactly have a clear destination in our heads, we decided to just wing it and see what came at us. After all we had the whole summer, plenty of time to get lost in the vast highway routes and to find our way back to college just in time for the new semester. The plan was foolproof to us, so no time was wasted. After our paper in the morning, we spent the afternoon packing and by late afternoon we were off.

Jessica drove first. She saw that I was pretty tired so she said she’ll get us to the next town, we would check in to someplace reasonable and get some rest or at least map out where we would want to go and then the real adventure would begin at day break. I was beyond excited when she first popped the idea before our exams. Getting parental approval for this was an even bigger hassle compared to the time I wanted to stay at the dorms.

My father gave in eventually, said something about I should live up my youth. I betted with Jessica beforehand that he would agree because he felt bad that I had been so protected when I was younger and had no memories of such sort with my friends. I won the bet. The prize was for the loser to do whatever the winner wants for a day. A prize I have yet to claim. Jessica said it was ok, there were no expiration dates on that so I could use it whenever I wanted.

As she drove we chatted like usual but I was cautious as not to distract her too much. Father had warned me about that because apparently we youngsters were still not mature enough and had to be extra careful while on the road. I promised I would so whenever Jessica would look elsewhere other than the front, I would nag her. She understood my concerns right away and tried her best to stay focus.

We reached the next town about three hours later. Jessica found us someplace nice looking and was at a reasonable rates. As we would be splitting the bills for the rooms and for gas equally, we both agreed that the rooms didn’t have to be classy, just comfortable and clean enough for us to sleep in for a couple of nights. In the back of my head, I had the thought of money not being a problem since father did give me his master card. “Use it for anything. It’s fine.” He said. I decided on my own that I would take it out during an emergency since Jessica came from well-to-do family, we really had nothing to worry about. Still, we were only college kids so we decided it would be a good chance to learn about how to handle money independently.

The room was cosy. It had a king sized bed in the middle of it. The room was dimly lit, as most hotel rooms would, by a few lights strategically placed in the room.  The bathroom had a shower and a tub, to which Jessica was squealing in delight when she saw it.

“Oh my gosh they have a tub!!! Taengoo ah look they have a tub!!!” she gestured to me to come take a look.

“Wow nice! You miss your tub at home a lot don’t you?” I teased.

“Yea…I would soak in there for hours during the weekends.”

“and got all prune-y no doubt” I chuckled.

“Har har..now come Kim Taengoo, let’s freshen up a bit and go get dinner!”

We had dinner that night at a local diner not far away from hotel. It was a nice, comfortable place; apparently well known for its burgers. Jessica and I both ordered one of the specialities. They tasted heavenly. We gave each other half of our burgers to try out. Jessica ordered their double-decked burger while I ordered their special house burger. Jessica’s had two patties, a fish patty and a chicken patty, topped with pieces of lettuce and an egg. Mine was a combination of a meat patty, a piece of ham, halves of sausages, also topped with pieces of lettuce and an egg. The sauces for the burgers were different, they were rather difficult to imagine but it blended everything together perfectly.

“They look awesome!!!!” I was about to dig in when I heard a click go off

“Sica?” I saw her typing on her phone. I waited till she was done and she showed me. Apparently she 

instagram-ed the pictures.

“Sica Jung, are you going to do that every time before we eat something?”

“Of course” she tucked her phone into her pocket and continued. “pictures hold enough memories to last a lifetime. I’m going to take as many as possible on this trip” she flashed me a smile and swapped our burger halves and inhaled her plate. I followed suit while the other customers in the diner watched in disbelieve as two girls devoured their burgers with record breaking speed.

After dinner we decided to walk around the diner before heading back. This town was a little suburban town. It seemed to be rather safe, with a police officer visible every few blocks patrolling the area. The streets were brightly lit by street lights and the night was still young, it was only around 8pm so people still filled the streets.

We strolled the streets for about two hours or so, walking into any shop that caught our eyes. I was rather captivated by a shop selling knick knacks and pulled Jessica in. We ended up spending more than half an hour inside cracking jokes and laughing at the various knick knacks on display. It was a miracle that we weren’t asked to leave for making so much noise. The old lady who owns the shop said she hadn’t heard such happy laughter in a very long time so she let us be.

After I caught Jessica yawning for the nth time after dinner I shooed her back to the car and back to the hotel.  I showered first because I didn’t want to soak in the tub unlike Jessica. I preferred to be lazing around on the bed. Jessica joined me about forty minutes later.

“Hey Taengoo, wanna stay here for another night or something?” Jessica asked after the lights were turned off.

“I don’t mind, we don’t have a plan so why not? This place seems nice and we haven’t checked out that shopping strip yet.”

“So you’re cool?”

“Cool”

“Awesome! Now let’s get some sleep, I’m so tired…night Taengoo, sweet dreams”

“G’night…” I didn’t even get to finish when I already heard light snoring from the sleeping princess.

“G’night Sica..” 

I should just get over my insecurities and enjoy this to the max.

***

A/N: hi! i know..i know..it's been so long since i've posted anything here haha so this is something i wrote a while back and i've decided to post it here before i delete the file or something =] feedback? and yes this story's title is Untitled

Four Walls and I

For a person who is already accustomed to being in a room alone, or in another word, being in a single room, I find it to be a bit puzzling as to how some find it almost impossible to adjust to the solitude of being in a room, facing four walls and a window. To be very honest once you get the gist of it, it’s really fairly simple.

Being in a room alone can drive a person mad if one has been in there long enough without any companion. I’ve been in a single room for as long as I can remember and now I find having a roommate one of the biggest hassles in the world. Unlike those more social people, I absolutely love being alone in a private space; be it being home alone or just being in my dorm room. There is that feeling of freedom in being in an empty private space.

I thrive on that little bit of freedom. To me, that is as close to being free as I am going to get. Once I step out the door, the world would be there to judge and control my every move. Figures of authorities would be there to dictate my life together with my peers. There is no way I can be 100% myself when I am out there. No, there is no way. Tell me, can you be 100% yourself even when you are with your closest friends and family members? If you say yes then you are a liar.

To be honest it’s perfectly fine for me to be talking to myself in a room. I mean, how else are you going to stay sane? Music and internet can only get you that far. Four walls, they’re going to be your best friends one day because trust me, nobody listens better than those four walls. I rant to them a lot, almost every day as a matter of fact. Call me crazy or whatever but it helps relieve that bit of tension and stress that had built up during the day.

A part of my life that contributed largely to the reason why I love being alone in private spaces is that from quite a young age I have dreamed of leaving the house and going off somewhere on my own. Perhaps it was my watching of too much American cartoons and TV shows. They always depict going off to college as this time in a person’s life when they leave their family for quite a duration of time and pack almost their whole room with them in their car, coming home only for the holidays. I’ve always loved the thought of that.

In this house I feel constricted. With unsupportive parents and a judgemental sibling I could not find any peace of mind neither could I feel free. My parents never really supported my interest. I cannot even watch a TV series without having my mother telling me to stop it. I’ve had that being said to me countless of times, my earliest memory of being told that was around the age of 12. I could not wait to get out of the house and be free.

That tiny bit of freedom is definitely one of the perks of being in a single room. Who cares if it’s just you and four walls? Once you get used to it, it’s actually one of the best feeling in the world. You can do anything you want in your bedroom and nobody will tell you “no, you can’t do that.” or “why the heck are you doing that?” It’s just you and four walls, who are not going to criticise you or anything. In that room you are free. In that room I am free. Free to do whatever I please with no restrictions. Free to eat, play and sleep for however long that I want.

I have had people telling me that they don’t understand how I survive four years in my dorm room alone. But for me, it’s more like how did they survive those years with another person in their room. They don’t understand me as how I don’t understand them. In the serenity of a single room, one is able to think better compared to when being in a room with another person. I personally cannot stand being in a space with another person and not talk at all. Perhaps it’s just me and I haven’t found that person where I can have a comfortable silence with. I find silence absolutely suffocating. I get uneasy and start to fidget and my voice goes up a notch. I think this is why I fit being in a single room best.

It also doesn’t help that I’m quite the loner and also I’m pretty quiet. I like being alone, as crazy as it sounds. But even I have my limits, I do go on an emo streak once in a while. But other than that I’m perfectly fine being alone. I’m pretty good at killing time. I’d get an A+ if it were a subject. I think that’s how I can live the way I do. Being alone does suck at times but most of the time, it’s actually pretty nice. You get to do things at your own pace instead of being dictated by others. Well, that’s one of the examples that I can think of at the moment. Pardon me, it’s 2am at the moment my mind isn’t working at its capacity.

Do you think I’m quiet? I think I am. My mom thinks so too, at least I’m much quieter compared to my sister. I don’t know when it started but I just got really quiet at one point in school back then. I guess that’s why I sort of fit in a single room? I don’t like silence between two people and I’m quiet, so the best thing to do is to put me in a single room. Plus I say the darnest things at times and you’d be surprised at how much people don’t understand what I’m talking about half the time. I’m like my best friend to be honest, in my little space I can say anything and I will crack myself up. 

Another perk of being in a single room I guess? Being able to act stupid and be comfortable with it.

The Sights

The sights, where do I even begin? Everything was white, and when I say everything I do mean everything! Everything was covered with snow the moment we landed our butts in Incheon International Airport. But enough about snow, let’s talk sights! Like the real sights!

Ok so the very first place Guide unnie took us to was Gyeonbuk Palace. It doesn’t look very big but apparently it used to be freaking big! Guide unnie said a big part of it got burned to the ground many years ago and this is all that’s left of the once magnificent palace. Either way, the architecture of the place was still awe-worthy. Ever seen Jewel in the Palace? Looks exactly the same! Though I’m not very sure if they shot it there or not?

Either way, notice the background of the blog? That picture was taken within the palace as well. The pagoda in the middle is actually in the middle of a small lake which has already frozen up. Guide unnie said the very first ice skating show was performed there when some ang mohs came to Korea all those years ago.

Next stop, Naminara Island or as I would like to refer it to as Winter Sonata Island because the drama was shot on this island! Here’s proof! Bwahaha nothing screams Winter Sonata like those rows of trees right? And I had the pleasure of visiting during winter, just to get the feel of the drama, though I’ve never watched it.

The island itself isn’t very big, in fact if not mistaken I think the island is owned by some dude. Yes it is a private island which the owner has converted into a tourist attraction. Very nice of him/her, no? The island is filled with cute snow men and wooden figures like this! It literally feels like a movie set, with cute little coffee cafes scattered all over it.

 

After that is Sorak San or Mount Sorak. This place is like a Taman Negara seriously. But I think it’s better for a person to come during spring or autumn because during winter it really looks really really bare, like some barren land or something. It’s hard to believe that this is their national park because everything seems to be frozen under the blanket of snow.

***

Next time: The Food

A/N: I’m so sorry for the delay in my trip posts. I have a lot on my hands now. I thank you all for being patient and yes I know this post is short. It’s only about 300+ words on Word. Don’t worry, there are many other sights I have yet to mention. Those will be in another post, titled “The Island”. Till then =]

p/s: right click the pictures and click "open image in new tab" for full size =]